What’s the top question women ask me about dating? Well, after “Where can I find a decent guy?” the most common question is – “Who pays on the first date?”
Now I am happily married, but this was an unusual week because I did a lot of networking. Six one-on-one sessions, plus two big events. The biggest surprise is what happened when the bill came at the two lunches and three coffee dates.
The big shocker – four out of five men paid! I took out my cash (after all these weren’t dates – if you know me, you know I don’t believe in a woman paying on the first date) but it was harshly refused in the four instances when the men paid. Each man strongly insisted that I “Put it away.”
The fifth guy said – “You want to split it?” Of course I did. I was totally ready and willing to pay my share. After all, this is business.
I started to think about all the women I’ve spoken with about this topic. Women who insist they must at least offer to pay. But 4 out of 5 gentlemen looked at me like I was crazy to pull out my wallet. And to Mike, Matt, Stu and Jeff, let me publicly say – THANK YOU. Thank you for reinforcing my belief that men want to treat women well. That men expect to pay. That men WANT TO PAY. In fact, I believe it makes them FEEL GOOD TO PAY.
Who are these guys? Well, of the Payers, four are married and between 40-60 and one is a single 23 year old. (I thought he was 28.) Mr. Split-the-Check is in his early 50’s and single and he’s the one who knows me best.. Go figure?
With this new experience in hand, I want to reinforce and once again recommend that for women on a first date – keep it in your purse – your wallet that is. No need to whip out the cash at the end of a meal or coffee. Relax. Because if he wants you to pay your way – he’ll have no trouble letting you know that.
Honestly, it was nice to be treated like a lady out there in the world at large. Can I please encourage you to try it? Go ahead. Make your day (and his) and LET HIM PAY. I think its pretty clear, 4 out of 5 men prefer it that way.