Do you meet men, but none of them are right for you?
Do the men you date have similar issues or patterns?
This week I had a client who said she didn’t meet many men who interested her. When women say this, I always ask if they have a "type." Dana denied it. "Nope, I don’t have a type of man." Well maybe she just couldn’t really describe him .
So I asked more questions (what any good coach does) Turns out Dana certainly does have a type. Having grown up in the 60’s, she likes liberal-hearted men.
Next, I asked what she had discovered as the problem with her type of guy. Once again, Dana denied any problems. "Nope – they have nothing in common." she remarked. Digging deeper, Dana and I discovered that the liberal men she finds most attractive, have commitment issues!
I bring this up for any woman who:
1) Claims she doesn’t meet men who she finds interesting
2) Claims that the men she meets aren’t her "type"
3) Claims that her type of man doesn’t have similar relationship issues
If you have a "type" chances are strong that when you look back – your "type" may create the strongest attraction for you, but not the strongest relationships.
When a client calls me to say, "I’m dating a new guy and he is SO different than most of the men I’ve dated." I give a little cheer and feel highly optimistic. More often than not, this is the relationship that sticks! So think about it next time you go out to meet people. Push past your type to see who might be a far better, longer lasting and less problematic match for you.