17 Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship

Seeing signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you but seems to like you? It can be so confusing! Here’s how to know for sure if the man you’re dating is wasting your time or truly interested.

How to Know If He Isn’t Serious

signs he doesn't want a relationship

Whether you’re intuitive or not, women always wish they could read a man’s mind.

The reason? Because we need to know DOES HE LIKE ME OR NOT? And we spend a LOT of time trying to figure this out.

You watch all the signs and read into situations to interpret what you think they mean.

Wracking your brain, you read a bunch of articles on the web. Feeling frustrated and at your wit’s end, you drive yourself (and potentially your friends and family too) CRAZY!

But here’s what you really need to know. You don’t need to be a mind reader to discover if he’s serious about you.

Instead, understanding where he stands is not about what he THINKS as much as WHAT HE DOES. For the most part, a man’s actions tell you everything you really need to know.

There Are Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You But Likes You

I’ve uncovered 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship and I’m sure there are even more.

If you read through these, you’ll know what to look for or how to read the signs he is sending.

So, read through the list and if you have more than one of these situations going on, it’s time to get real about this guy and realize he’s probably not “The One” for you.

1. He Texts But Doesn’t Ask You Out

Some men love to text or they call and talk on the phone for hours. Yet, they never get around to asking you out. Or they go on one or two dates then revert to the phone.

This type of thing is usually a sign that a man wants attention and maybe emotional support, but not the responsibility or expectations that come from a true relationship.

He’ll take what he can get from you, but never give you what you need. The solution – STOP COMMUNICATING.

He Asks You Out But Doesn't Make a Solid Plan2. He Asks You Out But Doesn’t Make a Solid Plan

After some texting or talking, he finishes up with, “Let’s get together this weekend.” But he doesn’t nail down a plan.

What is this about? He might enjoy texting or talking with you but doesn’t want or need anything more from you.

Or he’s stringing you along while he’s waiting to see who else might be free before committing to a date.

3. He Talks About The Future But Puts Off Plans

Some guys love to talk about the future. They bring it up even if you don’t, which is why you think it has MEANING.

Truth is, future talk means NOTHING and could just be his fantasy. Or the idea feels good at the moment.

You know this because he doesn’t follow through with plans. He might actually say he can’t make plans now because he’s too busy or has things to straighten out first.

signs he likes you but doesn't want a relationshipHow To Tell He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

4. He Doesn’t Introduce You To Friends Or Family

When a man is serious about you, he will slowly introduce you to some of his friends and then his family.

It could take longer for a family – may be up to three months. (For children it might take up to 6 months which is perfectly acceptable.)

Usually, within the first two months, he will introduce you to SOMEONE.

So, if he’s keeping you a secret and not getting you to meet his peeps, he doesn’t want a real relationship.

5. He Won’t Define The Relationship

If you’ve been seeing a man longer than three months and he refuses to define the relationship, that is NOT a good sign. A man who is serious wants to claim you as his and give you the “Girlfriend” title.

This is definitely one of those telltale signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

6. He Disappears But Comes Back

This guy is either texting like crazy or completely silent. He shows up, interacts with you and maybe goes on a date or two, and then he’s gone again.

What is up with that? He may have intimacy issues, be dating other women or doesn’t want anything serious to develop.

A man who is on and off again is NOT the right man because you need consistency for healthy, lasting love. Often this is one of those signs he doesn’t know what he wants.

Signs He Doesn’t Care Enough

signs he doesn't know what he wants

7. He’s Too Busy To See You

Perhaps he says he likes you and you are the one for him or maybe he’s not saying anything except that he’s too busy to see you.

He can’t make plans right now because of his job, his boss, his crazy ex, his family, etc.

If he puts you off, that’s a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

8. He’s Friendly When He Bumps Into You

This guy is SO happy to see you when he bumps into you at a party or around town.

He sticks by your side as if he really likes you. So, you would think he’d contact you after. But nope, he doesn’t connect.

This is extremely confusing because of his actions when he sees you are different than when he’s out of touch.

Just keep in mind that a man who does nothing to see you does NOT want a relationship with YOU. Or it could be one of those signs he doesn’t know what he wants.

9. He Won’t Make It Official

 signs he doesn't want a relationshipYou’ve been seeing this man for several months, but he won’t make it official. He prefers to just go along as things are and don’t want to rock the boat.

It’s good the way it is, right? Not if he’s serious about you!

That’s a sure sign he doesn’t like you enough to take things to the next level.

If A Guy Says He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship


10. He Says He Misses You, But Does Nothing To See You

Some guys just know what to say to keep you hanging on and this is a perfect example. If he says he misses you but makes no attempts to see you, it’s complete bullsh*t.

Don’t fall for this and believe his empty words. If he really meant it, he’d do whatever it takes to spend time with you. No excuses!

11. He Refuses To Be Exclusive Or Take Down His Profile

Pay attention to this – it’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

When a man is unwilling to take down his profile for any reason, he’s letting you know he has NO INTENTION of being exclusive.

This is a man who wants to play the field and is not interested in monogamy. The same thing goes for a man who is unwilling to agree to exclusivity. Forget these men – they don’t want what you want – lasting, monogamous love.

signs he likes you but doesn't want a relationship

12. He Said Doesn’t Want A Relationship

A lot of men will often come right out and TELL you they don’t want a relationship or aren’t looking for anything serious. When a man says either one of these phrases, BELIEVE HIM!

Many women tend to ignore this because he couples this comment with, “But I’d like to get to know you and see where it goes.”

That’s the sign of a man who is non-committal and just wants something casual.

More Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship

13. He Has Problems To Work Out

You might meet a great guy who has many of the qualities you want. Too bad he has issues that are getting in the way.

Maybe he’s unemployed or has a difficult boss and has to work all the time. He’s got a crazy ex and has to carefully manage her and the kids. Perhaps he has health issues that he blames for not being able to get together.

Whatever his problems are, they become your problems if you let them. Yet, last time I checked, you didn’t need more problems!

If you meet a guy who is wonderful but has issues dragging him down, he’s NOT READY for a relationship. Let go and move on if you want a good relationship.

This is not the same as if you were in love for years and a problem cropped up – that’s completely different.

14. He Cancels Frequently

The guy you are seeing talks a good game and makes plans, but often cancels. Keep in mind it’s not the making of the plan that counts, it’s the follow-through.

Whether he means well or not, no one cancels often without it being one of those signs he doesn’t know what he wants. Move on.

He Avoids Talking Things Over With You

15. He Avoids Talking Things Over With You

An issue crops up with the man you’re dating. You try to talk about it and let him know how you feel, but he will not discuss it. That’s one of the signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

You cannot maintain a healthy relationship if you cannot communicate or talk things through. This is how you get stuck with an impossible man where everything is his way or the highway.

Don’t let it happen to you. If he’s unwilling to talk or is inflexible, walk away and find a better man who is relationship-oriented and more emotionally mature.

16. You Don’t Go On Real Dates

This guy is sweet, but for a number of reasons you never go on real dates. He’s happy to hang out with you at your place.

He might bring over a pizza or take out. He’ll watch a movie or sit by the fire – it’s all very romantic.

The problem is, you never go out or on a real date. He doesn’t take you to dinner like most men. He doesn’t want to be out in public with you.

Ahhh, there’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. That’s because he’s already in one!

This guy is cheating on a woman and CAN’T BE SEEN WITH YOU or he’ll get caught.

Run, don’t walk, away from this guy no matter how much you love him.

17. He’s Not Curious About You Or Your Life

is he interestedLast of the 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, is that he’s not at all curious about your life.

He doesn’t ask many questions. He doesn’t remember some big events in your life or wants to know how it went.

He’s not boring, it’s just that his main interest is himself. So, if you’re happy with everything being about him and being in a one-way relationship with a narcissist, that’s your choice.

My dating advice is to dump him and find a better man for a loving relationship that works for you both.

Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship

Now that you know what to look for regarding how he doesn’t want a relationship, let me give you a super quick run-down on the signs he DOES want a relationship.

  • He takes you on a real date at least once a week
  • He communicates in between dates, texting and at least one phone call weekly
  • After 4-6 weeks he starts introducing you to his buddies and siblings
  • After about three months you go on a weekend away
  • Slowly, he starts to discuss his life decisions with you
  • Your man asks how you are and is very interested in your happiness and life
  • You love how he does nice things for you
  • He expresses how he feels although it might take time to say the word LOVE
  • You can count on him
  • He keeps his promises
  • You trust him
  • You feel comfortable with him and can be yourself
  • Your friends like him
  • He accepts you for who you are 
  • He is proud to be with you and show you off
  • Thankfully, he’s happy to help when you ask
  • He agrees to or asks you to be in an exclusive relationship

Wishing you love!

signs he likes you but doesn't want a relationship



Want more smart advice to find love faster? Listen to my Free Audio Program 5 Surefire Ways to Get a Quality Guy!


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

67 thoughts on “17 Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship”

  1. What could it be if your husband of fourteen years of marriage now tells you he doesn’t feel for sex any longer, no calls except he needs something done, no goodmorning, no goodnight calls, no frequent visits as he works and stays from a distant town. He says there is no other woman in his life for all these drama. What do u think

    • Hi, Sadly, I guess I’d say he’s not in love with you any more. Sorry to say that. Why do you stay if he offers you so little?

  2. Hi Ronnie,
    I met this guy on a dating app and we’ve been talking for around two months. We’ve seen each other twice (we were both on holidays so couldn’t see more), he recently said that he likes me but doesn’t see a relationship unless something changes? (both very busy and it’s hard to meet) Is he just wasting my time? or should I stick it out and see wether anything happens?

    • H Lindsay, Once a man says he doesn’t see a relationship, that pretty much says it all. Two dates in two months is not enough to build a relationship. Sometimes the schedule issues just ruin things. But on your end, make sure you have time in your calendar to date. It has to be a priority for you both to work. When a woman in too busy, it takes away from the attraction, same as it does for a man.

  3. I got in touch with my ex after 44 years, he’s married. We’ve seen each other 3 times in 2 years and he’s been quite intimate and we’re always in touch with each other. What I don’t get is why he told me there is something there and that our friendship had gone beyond friends and things could change. He kept saying he was going to come and see me but when I asked him he changed his mind. Said he didn’t want to get involved. I told him I already was involved with him, so he knows I’m in love with him. I thought we were done after that, but he’s phoned and texted me in the past month. He never talks about his wife, but they don’t appear to get on very well.

    • Hi Sue, Sorry to be the one to tell you this but your ex is stringing you along. Maybe you boost his ego, or he enjoys staying in touch for the thrill or fantasy. But he’s not going to suddenly leave his wife for you. He’s already shown you that he can’t be trusted. He doesn’t keep his promises to you of visiting etc. He talks out of two sides of his mouth, saying he could be with you and he can’t get involved. And if he did see you, wouldn’t that make him a cheater? If you want to find love again, that’s great, but my advice is to move on and find a new guy.

  4. My ex was a widower hes too cheap to go out 2 dates . Tried to call me a gold digger than say he thinks he dated too soon. 1 yr after wife’s death.. will not return calls or text.

    • Hi Paula, Sorry to hear that. Sounds like things weren’t ideal. Look for someone better.

  5. Been seeing a doctor for a year and he suddenly tells me he doesn’t want a long-term relationship. We see each other weekly because our schedules don’t match. He asks to see me 2-3x per week but I cant always make it because I don’t always have a sitter for my children. Recently I’ve said maybe we should not see each other anymore because I’m looking for something more. Fortunately he called a month later and said let’s meet to chat. Should I let go and tell him it’s been a pleasure? My feelings have grown as we talk our lives and have been intimate. I do cancel and reschedule often and that may be a turn off for him. I’m confused and need some input. Makes me sad. I was crushed that he doesn’t want a LTR.

    • Hi Monica, There may be two different things going on here. One is that YOU are the one who is not available. Go on Care.com and find more sitters! Or perhaps admit at this life stage with small children, you can’t offer a man more. Cancelling often is a turn off for any man as it would be if he did that to you. On the other hand, maybe he never wanted a long-term relationship and was happy that you weren’t too available since that means you can’t be too demanding of him either. Or he could be saying he’s tired of the struggle with seeing you. Hard to know for sure. What matters most is that it’s time for you to look within and really understand where your own head is at. If you want a deeper relationship, you need to make yourself available. Not all relationships are meant to go the distance even though you have feelings and it is sad. But this served a purpose if it wakes you up to how you are operating, so you get clear about what you want and then find the sitters or decide now is not the time.

  6. I’ve been talking to this guy for almost eight months. Before we would cancel and make up excuses not to see each other. We started talking again and we’ve hung out twice this week. He’s been in a really bad relationship where she cheated on him. It’s taken a lot of time to get him to open up. He says he doesn’t want a relationship right now but, asks about the “future”. I’m really falling for him. I just don’t want to get hurt.

    • Hi – Don’t you want a guy who is ready? This one is too much work! When you have to urge a guy to open up, that’s your signal he’s not ready and the wrong man. Do NOT take on projects. If you don’t want to get hurt, you need to pay attention to the truth a man tells you. He does NOT want a relationship. Falling for him and sticking around for a some future possibility is the road to heartbreak! Get out now while the getting is good. He’s not the only man out there.

    • Hi Ella, Sorry he’s wasting your time. But, now that you are crystal clear on that sad fact, it’s time to do something about it. Walk away, move on and look for a new love. Seek a man who wants lasting love with you and respects you too. Good men are out there – men who do want a relationship, but you are the only one who can find him. And you won’t if you stay stuck with your current man. Do something good for yourself and move on right now. Your self-esteem will thank you and new doors will open.

  7. This is so on point it’s ridiculous. Been through most of these. Oh my goodness, as I was reading it was so clear! Thank you! Thank you!

  8. Ronnie, one of Your best blogs yet!
    Other reasons for # 16:
    1. He is too cheap to spend money to go out
    2. He prefers being in buildings with a bed in them.
    I wound up marrying reason #1 guy. Awful.


Leave a Comment