13 Shocking Signs He Just Wants Sex And How To Catch On Fast

Learn the 13 shocking signs he just wants sex, so you know what to watch for to sidestep men like this. It’s obvious once you know what to look for.

 signs he just wants sexWhat If He Only Wants to Sleep with You?

“Dear Ronnie,

Are there signs he just wants sex? Why do men lie? If they are not into you for more than just a date, why lie and tell you they like you or act as if they like you.

Why do they discuss future vacations together and talk about going out, then Ghost after they’ve been dating you for 2 months? Is it that hard to act normal?

If he is not interested in more than just sex, why doesn’t he act so? Do guys never think about being honest? Do we as women literally have to ask them, “OK, are you really interested in me?”

Please help me understand because I am often heartbroken and left feeling so sad and very confused.

Nath from Chicago”

Understanding Men And Their Games

Dear Nath,

You asked good questions and I am going to answer each one, so you understand what is going on with men. I know this can be emotionally crushing, but there is a way to recognize a player faster. Once you know, then you can avoid these predators with ease.

When you are a straightforward woman looking for love, you want to trust and believe men. Yet, one disappointment and heartbreak after another makes it harder and harder.

I understand how you feel, and I went through this myself when I was dating and looking for love before meeting the man who became my husband.

Having met plenty of these types, I LEARNED how to catch on quickly and that made all the difference. I stopped wasting time on a man who showed signs he just wants sex and moved on to meet other men who had more potential.

Why Do Men Lie And Act Interested?

First, keep in mind not all men lie or pretend to be interested. Let’s think about this from a man’s perspective to better understand what’s really going on.

If a man just wants sex and told you that, would you go for it? No, of course not! Men know most women don’t want to jump into bed – they prefer to get to know a guy a first.

So, that’s why some men lie. They do this to get their needs met the only way they know-how. The same thing applies to talk about the future and vacations, etc.

This kind of conversation is designed to make him look like he’s got long-term intentions about you, so you trust him and then…sleep with him.

Why Do Men Ghost?


Most men hate emotional scenes and will do whatever is necessary to avoid a big blow up. That’s why they stop contacting you (aka ghost) rather than breakup directly.

Nothing new – this has been going on forever. A lot of guys don’t want to cause you pain face-to-face but know they have to move on, so they drop out of sight.

Some experts say men are cowardly to avoid confrontation. Another way to look at this is they have a different threshold for emotions vs. women.

That’s why most men would rather shut down a difficult conversation or walk away, rather than talk it through.

The confrontation is often too much for a man. And that’s one way to know you found a good man – when he’s willing to discuss things calmly.

Why Can’t You Ask Him Directly?

Last but not least, you CANNOT ask a man directly if he likes you. Why not? Because how will you know if he’s telling the truth? It’s a pointless question. Again, this is confrontational and not the way to engage with men.

The Real Problem

Here’s the real problem – these are NOT THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! While you want to know if a man is lying and the signs he just wants sex, that’s not the best way to make decisions.

Instead, focus on discovering if he QUALIFIES to be your man.

Does he pursue you consistently, requesting weekly dates, calling between dates and texting? Is he interested in getting to know you or does he only talk about himself? Does he try to please you and find out what you like?

These are signs of a man who has a genuine interest and potential for a loving relationship.

When a man asks you out consistently, shows that he cares, does nice things for you, stays in touch and becomes someone you can count on – that’s how you know he is worthy of your love.

How To Spot Signs He Only Wants Sex

Here are the 13 signs he just wants sex:

  1. He talks about your looks from the moment you meet.
  2. He brings up sex within the first couple of dates.
  3. He’s a super flirt, very charming and seems like a player.
  4. He wants sex and asks for pictures.
  5. He only communicates (text, email, phone) when he’s wants a booty call.
  6. He says he’s not looking for a relationship but will get to know you.
  7. You don’t go out on dates and have sex every time you see him.
  8. He’s got excuses for why he can’t spend time with your friends.
  9. He never spends the night.
  10. He’s angry if you don’t hop in the sack.
  11. He’s not much for foreplay.
  12. You don’t know much about him and your conversations are superficial.
  13. You haven’t met his friends.

These Are The Signs He Just Wants Sex

signs he just wants sexSeeing signs he just wants sex? If you see more than one of these signs, accept the fact this guy is most likely only into you for the sex.

And now that you know the 13 signs, be smart and heed this warning.

There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if you protect yourself and agree to participate.

It can be fun, you might learn something new and it’s a great stress reliever. But keep your eyes open and be smart.

On the other hand, if you are looking for something more serious and lasting, hold off on sex until you see if he qualifies as a romantic partner and meets your standards.

This is how you value yourself and don’t get sucked into casual relationships, dreaming of something more.

If you want more help with learning how to understand men, why not schedule a session with me?

There’s no charge for this 45-minute call where we will work to figure out what’s getting in the way of finding love with the right man and if coaching is for you. Book your session now!

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

4 thoughts on “13 Shocking Signs He Just Wants Sex And How To Catch On Fast”

  1. So i have been going out with this guy for about three years now and recently somehow our conversions changed, anytime when we don’t talk about something flirty he seems rather uninterested and I got the feeling that he doesn’t really want to get to know me better anymore…

    • Hi Najt, Three years is not dating – that’s a relationship. I don’t know why he’s no longer interested. But you can ask him. Just be brave and say, “It seems like you are not as interested as you once were. What’s happening?” Then be quiet and don’t say anything. Let him speak first. Remember, you deserve to be well treated, so if he doesn’t treat you right, even if it’s sad, you can walk away, recover and when ready find a new man to love.

  2. So here is the deal. It started off going out for regular coffee for 8 months after those months we ended up sleeping together and now it’s been 2 years. Well we have also known each other before all this happened for 20 years so we reconnected in these 2 years. So I want to know what to do because I know he doesn’t want to commit or live common law. I need your help.

    • Hey Mary, I’m s sorry to tell you there’s no way to make a man commit. Anyone who says they’ve got the trick is simply telling tall tales. Either he wants to commit or he doesn’t. Sounds like he doesn’t. So you have two choices. 1) stay with him uncommitted. 2) Leave him and look for the love you want and deserve. If you do walk away, he might decide he DOES want to be with you. But you can’t count on it. If you give him an ultimatum where you say, “Get committed or I’m leaving” you better be prepared to walk away or you’ll never have any leverage in the relationship again. Idle threats backfire. I wish you all the best.

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