13 Shocking Signs He Just Wants Sex And How To Catch On Fast

Learn the 13 shocking signs he just wants sex, so you know what to watch for to sidestep men like this. It’s obvious once you know what to look for.

 signs he just wants sexWhat If He Only Wants to Sleep with You?

“Dear Ronnie,

Are there signs he just wants sex? Why do men lie to get it? If they are not into you for more than one date, why lie and tell you they like you or act as if they like you?

Why do they discuss future vacations together and talk about going out, then “ghost after they’ve been dating you for 2 months”? Is it that hard for a man to act normal?

If a man is not interested in more than just sex, why doesn’t he act like that?  Do guys ever think about being honest? I’m starting to wonder if women literally should ask men, “OK, are you really interested in me?”

Please help me understand because I am often heartbroken and left feeling so sad and very confused.

Nath from Chicago”

why do men play games so easilyUnderstanding Men And Their Games

Dear Nath,

You asked a lot of good questions and I am going to answer each one, so you understand what is going on with men. I know this can be emotionally crushing, but there is a way to recognize a player faster. Once you know hot to spot them, you can avoid these predators with ease.

One of the problems is, as a straightforward woman looking for love, you want to trust and believe men. Yet, one disappointment and heartbreak after another makes it harder and harder.

I understand how you feel, and went through this myself when I was dating. While looking for love, I invested way too much time trying to figure this out.

However, meeting plenty of these types, I LEARNED how to catch on quickly and figured out how to stop wasting time on a man who showed signs he just wants sex. This kept my heart free to meet other men who had more potential.

And now I will share this secret with you!

Is it OK to have sex on the first date?

Why Do Men Lie And Act Interested?

why do men lieFirst, keep in mind not all men lie or pretend to be interested. Let’s think about this from a man’s perspective to better understand what’s really going on.

Sit back and think about this for a moment. If a man just wants sex and told you that, would you go for it? No, of course not! Men know most women won’t jump into bed. Many prefer to get to know a guy a first.

That’s exactly why if he only wants sex, he’ll lie to get it. Men do this to get their needs met the only way they know how. The same thing applies why they talk about the future and vacations, etc.

This kind of conversation is designed to make a man look like he has long-term intentions about you, so you trust him and then…sleep with him.

Why Do Men Ghost?


Most men hate emotional scenes and will do whatever is necessary to avoid a big blow up. That’s why they stop contacting you (aka ghost) rather than be honest, direct or simply breakup.

This is nothing new and this has been going on forever. A lot of guys don’t want to cause you pain face-to-face, but know they have to move on, so they drop out of sight and disappear.

Some experts say men are cowardly to avoid confrontation. However, another way to look at this is they have a different threshold for emotional pain vs. women.

That’s why most men would rather shut down a difficult conversation or walk away, than talk it through.

The confrontation is often too much for a man. And that’s one way to know you found a good man – when he’s willing to discuss things calmly. Often a sure sign you’re seeing a good guy with real relationship potential.

Can I Ask Him If He’s Into Me?

Last but not least, do NOT ask a man directly if he likes you. Especially in the first few weeks. Why not? How will you know if he’s telling the truth? It’s a pointless question. This is a confrontational question which is sure to make him uncomfortable, even if he does like you.

Direct questions are not the way to engage with a man you just started dating. This won’t work when you ask if he wants to stop seeing  you either – he’ll say yes just to avoid bad feelings.

Discover the signs that he does like you.

The Real Problem

Here’s the real problem – these are NOT THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! While you want to know if a man is lying and the signs he just wants sex, that’s not how to make your decision. You cannot leave your decision about sleeping with him up to him.

Instead of worrying if he only wants sex, the best thing for you to focus on is discovering if he QUALIFIES to be YOUR man.

Does he pursue you consistently? In other words, does he ask you out on weekly dates, call between dates, and text to stay in touch? Is he truly interested in getting to know you or does he only talk about himself? Does he try to please you and find out what you like?

These are signs to watch for of a man who has a genuine interest and potential for a loving relationship. Learn more signs that you found a keeper.

When a man asks you out consistently, shows that he cares, does nice things for you, stays in touch, and becomes someone you can count on – then you know he is worthy of your love and affection.

he just wants to sleep with youHow To Spot Signs He Only Wants Sex

Here are the 13 signs he just wants sex:

  1. He talks about your looks from the moment you meet.
  2. He brings up sex within the first couple of dates.
  3. He’s a super flirt, very charming and seems like a player.
  4. He wants sex and asks for pictures.
  5. He only communicates (text, email, phone) when he wants a booty call.
  6. He says he’s not looking for a relationship but will get to know you.
  7. You don’t go out on dates and have sex every time you see him.
  8. He’s got excuses for why he can’t spend time with your friends.
  9. He never spends the night.
  10. He’s angry if you don’t hop in the sack.
  11. He’s not much for foreplay.
  12. You don’t know much about him and your conversations are superficial.
  13. You haven’t met his friends.

These Are The Signs He Just Wants Sex

why men play games to get you into bedAre you now seeing signs he only wants sex? If you see more than one of these 13 signs, accept the fact this guy is only into you for sex.

And now that you know these 13 signs, be smart and heed this warning.

There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, if you don’t mind, protect yourself and agree to participate.

It can be fun, you might learn something new, and it’s a great stress reliever. But keep your eyes open and be smart to guard your heart.

One more thing. If you start a casual relationship for sex or try “Friends with Benefits,” that doesn’t mean it’s going to be a regular thing, available when YOU want it, or that he’ll some day fall in love with you. This is fairytale stuff so don’t go there or you could end up with a broken heart.

On the other hand, if you are looking for something more serious and lasting, hold off on sex until you determine if he qualifies as your romantic partner and meets your standards.

This is how you VALUE YOURSELF and don’t get sucked into casual relationships, dreaming of something more.

Find out more with my free book, 7 Dire Dating Mistakes. Download your copy today!


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

8 thoughts on “13 Shocking Signs He Just Wants Sex And How To Catch On Fast”

  1. So I am seeing this guy. I am 31 he is 26. We both just got out of long term relationships but we seem to really like each other. We have now been dating for about 6 months . I have only met one of his friends and he hasn’t introduced me to his family, even though he has met mine(very briefly) . He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me but never actually takes me on dates. Every phone call we have he is so sexual about everything we talk about . As soon as we do hang out he wants sex right away. He is very sweet to me but I feel like he’s just telling me what I want to hear. and every time I try to tell him I think he’s using me for sex he cries and tells me that’s not true and that he actually loves me. Do you think he is just using me? Because I’m actually looking for a serious relationship.

    • Hi Sarah, This is SO hard. Do I think he’s using you for sex? Hmmm. He’s sure not treating you like a man who loves you. Not taking you on dates is a bad sign for sure. He may like you or if he does love you, he’s very confused about what love means. Love is not sex.

      Since it’s been six months and your relationship is not progressing, whether he’s using you is not the point. The point is this is going NOWHERE. And asking him directly, as you can see, will not produce the answer you want.

      There is a point in dating when you have to decide what YOU want, regardless of what the man says. Does he make you happy? Is this a fulfilling relationship? Are you growing as you get to know each other? I’d say NO to all three.

      My advice is to move on immediately. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not giving you the kind of love you want. Maybe he’s not even capable. In the future, make sure you go on real dates from the start or don’t even bother meeting the guy. You deserve a loving relationship that’s supportive fun, healthy, and includes REAL DATES. Look for a man your own age or older who is ready for a real relationship that could lead to lasting love.

  2. So I have been going out with this guy for about three years now and recently somehow our conversions changed, anytime when we don’t talk about something flirty he seems rather uninterested and I got the feeling that he doesn’t really want to get to know me better anymore…

    • Hi Najt, Three years is not dating – that’s a relationship. I don’t know why he’s no longer interested. But you can ask him. Just be brave and say, “It seems like you are not as interested as you once were. What’s happening?” Then be quiet and don’t say anything. Let him speak first. Remember, you deserve to be well treated, so if he doesn’t treat you right, even if it’s sad, you can walk away, recover and when ready find a new man to love.

  3. So here is the deal. It started off going out for regular coffee for 8 months after those months we ended up sleeping together and now it’s been 2 years. Well we have also known each other before all this happened for 20 years so we reconnected in these 2 years. So I want to know what to do because I know he doesn’t want to commit or live common law. I need your help.

    • Hey Mary, I’m sorry to tell you there’s no way to make a man commit. Anyone who says they’ve got the trick is simply telling tall tales. Either he wants to commit or he doesn’t. Sounds like he doesn’t. So you have two choices. 1) stay with him uncommitted; or 2) Leave him and look for the love you want and deserve. If you do walk away, he might decide he DOES want to be with you. But you can’t count on it. If you give him an ultimatum where you say, “Get committed or I’m leaving” you better be prepared to walk away or you’ll never have any leverage in the relationship again. Idle threats backfire. I wish you all the best.

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