Singles in American Survey Says Less than 13% of American Singles Are Looking for Love!

Discover the Silver Lining in the Match.com Sponsored Research Study

Singles in America Survey

According to the second annual Singles in America Survey conducted on behalf of Match.com, only 12.7% of singles today are actively looking for a relationship! Can you believe that?

As a dating coach for women, I find this number shocking. And yet, maybe not when I really think about it. Over the last 10 years I’ve heard it all so here’s another statistic that more accurately reflects my professional experience. Nearly half of American singles (46.8%) would “consider” a relationship if they met the right person. However, they aren’t doing anything about it!

I cannot tell you how many people don’t want to be bothered looking for love. They claim they don’t know where to look or how to get started, or even more amazing, don’t know how to be friendly with the opposite sex.

Sadly, this is the statistic I see play out which explains why so many women and men remain single.

If you are one of these people who would like to have love in your life, but aren’t motivated to seek it out, let me share an extremely important fact:

Love isn’t like spontaneous combustion, bursting into flames on its own. Even with Valentine’s Day approaching, Cupid doesn’t simply draw his bow to magically bring love to your doorstep. If you want love, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO FIND IT!

I call this the Lazy Lover Syndrome and while I knew it was prevalent, I had no idea that nearly half the US population felt this way. Even last night I spoke with a client who asked me why she had to flirt and be friendly. After all, isn’t it the man’s job to pursue her?

There it is in a nutshell – Lazy Lover Syndrome. “Why do I have to do anything?” There is an incredibly simple explanation. If you want love, then it’s up to you to attract and find it. You have to be actively engaged in the dating process. At the very least, you have to get out to meet new people so you can cross paths with the men who might be looking for a woman like you right? He won’t find you on your couch!

While it’s my job to help formulate your dating plan, find ways to keep you feeling positive, and unravel the confusion and mystery that constitutes dating, I cannot “make” you do anything. I cannot motivate you to become an active dater.

But, there is extremely good news that these statistics deliver. This is the silver lining I promised you in the headline:

With such a small portion of the population looking for love, you now have far less competition than you ever dreamed!

That’s right – think about it. With 17% in relationships, and only 13% actively seeking, that leaves 70% of the other women out of the dating pool! I would hope that makes you feel a lot better about your chances of finding love. Because IF you are willing to get out there to meet people, statistically, you have very few women to compete with. (Even if it doesn’t “look” this way.)

Love is worth it!  As my matchmaker friend  Nicole LeClerc from Compatibles in Vermont often says, “No one looks back after finding love at their dating experience to say, ‘That was a waste of time!’ “The truth is, once you find love, you know that everything you went through to make that connection was completely worthwhile. I found love over 40 which is why I KNOW you can do it too.

 

Photo Credit: Aunt Owwee’s

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4 responses on “Singles in American Survey Says Less than 13% of American Singles Are Looking for Love!

  1. Barnett

    Its sad how so many Americans have that Lazy Lover Syndrome, but then again as Americas we are conditioned to being lazying and getting things the fastest easiest ways, so to speak…

    Anyhow, I really do like how you describe love in this post, for love is a very powerful force but it doesn’t just fall into your lap. You have to gear up and go get it!

  2. Ronnie Post author

    Thanks Barnett – I agree – it is sad that people are too lazy to look for love. Or maybe they don’t believe they can find it, so they feel it’s not worth the effort. Either way, its a sad statement.

  3. m

    “Or maybe they don’t believe they can find it”

    The way men these days behave — have you checked the notes on your friends sites? David Wygant’s, all those PUAs, your friend in your blogroll EMK (and that includes the host there; it never ceases to amaze me the lack of reciprocity from men he expects women to put up with — why does this shock you?

    Worse yet, why does it lead you to conclude that women are lazy?

  4. Ronnie Post author

    Hi M-
    Interestingly enough, I didn’t say “women” are lazy. I said a lot of PEOPLE who want love are too lazy to do anything about it according to the survey – nearly half the singles pop. That means they make other activities a priority over seeking a partner – which is totally their choice to do so. Nothing wrong with not wanting love.

    But, and this is a big but, if a person claims to WANT a relationship, yet does absolutely nothing to fulfill that desire, I do conclude laziness or the belief that its not really possible so its not worthwhile putting in the effort.

    And to be honest, I have no idea what the other male dating coaches and PUA’s you mentioned have to do with this post. Even Marc Katz is anything but a pick up artist. He’s the dating coach for smart, strong, successful women – says that right at the top of his website.

    Its true, some men behave poorly. However, lots of women behave quite poorly too, cheating on their husbands etc. It’s not gender specific. There are lots of men who are wonderful and looking for love – I had 5 great guys last night at my Ask Him live event panel of single men who shared their thoughts on dating love and women. It was honest, open and inspiring.

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